The Time I Talked About My Mental Health in an Interview
I spent over 20 years hiding my depression from my closest friends and family, so trust me when I say I never — in a million years — imagined there would be a day when I would admit that I experienced depression in a job interview. But, here I am. Talking about that time on a website.
I don’t know why I hid my depression for so long. I think I was embarrassed. Embarrassed that I had it. Embarrassed to ask for help when my life was so great in so many ways. I would often ask myself, “What do you have to be depressed about, Janelle?” The answer was never clear, but the truth is, depression rocked my world. It’s not like I was depressed all the time. I actually had many, many moments of great joy and happiness. But when it was bad, it was bad. So bad, that I sometimes spent entire weekends in my bed, unable to get myself to eat or interact with my family. I lost interest in the things that used to get me excited. And I would hear myself saying negative things about people, which was so unlike my true nature.
The story has a happy ending, though, in that I got professional help in 2018 and I now have many tools and habits that keep my mental health regulated. I don’t have those weekends in bed anymore. And I share my story and journey with my friends, family and even complete strangers — which brings us back to that interview.
In 2021, I interviewed for my dream job: Chief Equity & People Officer for Vancity Credit Union. It was a C-suite role reporting to the CEO. I had never interviewed for a role at that level of leadership before. I had also never been so comfortable in my own skin and crystal clear on my values. One of my values is authenticity. As I prepared for that interview, I knew I wanted to shared my authentic self with my future co-workers and boss — and that involved talking about my depression. Why would I do this?
Because:
Depression is a part of who I am, and there are times when I need to take care of myself so that my depression doesn’t get out of hand. My co-workers and boss need to be OK with me choosing my health, because I always will.
The job for which I was interviewing for oversaw all diversity, equity, inclusion and reconciliation work (and HR). I couldn’t possibly talk day in and day out about inclusion and belonging, not knowing if I belonged myself. The only way to know if I belonged at the company was to be totally authentic / truthful in the interview and let them decide if I belonged there, or not. (spoiler alert - I did belong)
I believe vulnerability is one of the most important leadership qualities in a leader (along with curiosity, empathy and courage). As I was interviewing for a senior leadership role, I felt it was important to embody those qualities at all times, during and after the interview.
Talking about our mental health is not always an easy thing (is it ever easy?). And, what I’ve discovered is that when we’re open about our mental health, it creates a safe space for others to do the same. So any of you leaders out there, be brave enough to share what you’re going through with your co-workers - you’ll make your team and company a more safe and inclusive place. And if you’re interviewing for a job, don’t be afraid to be authentic. After all, how else will you know you belong?
